put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
