I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
