sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
