would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
