literally had 100 drinks last night.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
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He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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