no. you can't hotbox the world.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
