She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
