Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
