I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
so much tequila, so little girl.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
