I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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