i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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