..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
