Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
third nipple confirmed
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
