I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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