maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
