its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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