if you like me you must not know who I am
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Randomize
