So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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