New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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