Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Randomize
