How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
