I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
