Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
