We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
