She just used a chaser for red wine.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
