He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
