you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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