So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
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Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
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is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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