im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
