Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
NoShamevember. You game?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
