How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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