sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I have already put on my inside pants.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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