i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize