So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
