I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize