After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
