This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
