I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
