I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
