At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
