I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think your dad took our porno
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
