i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Holy shit dude........stairs
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