She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
