So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's blow job season.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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