I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If I die, sorry about rent.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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