mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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