i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
