There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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