just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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