i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
