So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
