just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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