Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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