matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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