i permit you to call me
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It's official drugs can't kill me
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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