Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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