Plan B is the new Plan A
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
