dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Your cock deserves a montage
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
