he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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