Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
