1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
