So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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