Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
