so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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