You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
