whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
