It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
