It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
cat food counts as protein by the way
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
