He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
